Jesurgislac’s Journal

October 13, 2008

They’re trying to “protect marriage” with this dreck?

You cannot protect marriage by denying marriage to same-sex couples. That should be clear from the basics.

I was linked to this site (“iprotectmarriage.com”, geddit?) via Ben Wolfson at Unfogged, whom I blame for everything. Here are their facts:

For centuries, marriage as a legal, civil and religious institution between a man and a woman has protected children and society in every country and culture.

Granted for the sake of argument, but why is that being put forward as a reason why marriage as a legal, civil and religious institution between two men or two women can’t be allowed to protect children and society in the US? Are these people so busy “protecting marriage” they’ve lost track of what marriage is all about? Evidently. How sad.
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September 24, 2008

Traditional Values: How dare an uppity black woman think she can make her own rules!

The Traditional Values Coalition wants you to crash Oprah Winfrey’s e-mail server. (Thanks to Ben Wolfson at Unfogged for the heads-up.)

Oprah’s crime: she has set a rule that she’ll interview no candidates for President on her show (Barack Obama has appeared on her show twice, both times before he announced he’d be running for President: since then, though Oprah has made no secret of supporting Obama for President, he has not been interviewed on Oprah).

The Traditional Values Coalition (among those “traditional values” must be “being a whiny baby”) has written an e-mail for their supporters to send (they don’t permit their supporters any alterations except in the subject line of the e-mail). I did consider sending one with a subject line Oprah Rules, Sarah Drools! More Traditional Values Coalition Bullshit but then I thought, nah, the whole point is clearly to crash the system with sheer numbers, I won’t join in. They squeal that Oprah’s “honoring the accomplishments of all women” is an illusion, as is her belief in “fairness and impartiality”. The e-mail refers to an invented item on the Drudge Report that Oprah had refused to interview Sarah Palin, tp which Oprah responded:

The item in today’s Drudge Report is categorically untrue. There has been absolutely no discussion about having Sarah Palin on my show. At the beginning of this Presidential campaign when I decided that I was going to take my first public stance in support of a candidate, I made the decision not to use my show as a platform for any of the candidates. I agree that Sarah Palin would be a fantastic interview, and I would love to have her on after the campaign is over.

Apparently, making rules for who will and will not appear on the show means Oprah is not “the advocate for all women” – after all, Sarah Palin is just a career Republican hack hockey mom. Oprah’s uppity decision to publicly support a Presidential candidate and to set rules for her own show must, to these “traditional value” people “mean only one thing – you put Obama’s interests ahead of the interests of your viewers”. Yeah right.

Still, though I would not wish Oprah to reverse her decision not to interview any of the candidates on her show, I would very much like to watch Oprah push Sarah’s head through the wall. Metaphorically, of course, and I’m sure Oprah would do it ever so nicely; Sarah might not even know how badly she’d been beaten till she saw the reruns.

PS: Someone already did the analysis much better.

September 22, 2008

Ten Commandments for a PoPet as dictated by the pet

A PoPet is of course a Person owned by Pet. Any resemblance to a puppet is entirely your reality and should be ignored by your imagination. Based on this, thank you Heebie-Geebie.

  1. My life is likely to last 10-15 years. I expect the highest standards of worship and catering throughout my life, whether you are present to provide it directly or not.
  2. You exist to feed me and to love me. Anything you want from me will be provided only at my whim.
  3. Trust me, I won’t eat that tasty human food you placed within my reach. At least not while you’re looking.
  4. There’s no point getting mad at me when I do things like throw up or crap where you don’t want me to. You may like to anthropomorphise me, but I’m just an animal. Get used to it. Buy more home insurance. I know how to act guilty and make you feel bad, though.
  5. Talk to me. It’s not that I’ll understand anything you say, but studies show that nine out of ten humans who talk to their pets buy them more expensive petfood.
  6. That time you knocked me off the table when I was just a cute l’il thing and one blow of your hand could bat me across the room? Yeah. So do I. There will be payback.
  7. By the way? See these teeth? Watch these claws? I could kill you while you sleep. I don’t, because I’m just an old softy, but I could.
  8. Before you scold me for being lazy or uncooperative, ask yourself this: if I expect my pet to actually understand what I’m saying, is there a problem with my pet, or with me?
    Right, now you’ve asked yourself that question, feed me. You were given opposable thumbs for a reason.
  9. Yes, I get old faster than you do. Better be nice to me then. Remember, you’ll get old too and you’ll want other people to put you in a cardboard box and take you to the human vet, or whatever you people do to each other when you get sick.
  10. Eventually, I’m not going to be around any more. How you’ll cope then, I don’t know. If you get a new pet, make sure it sheds the same colour hairs I do. Or else get a new wardrobe.

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