Jesurgislac’s Journal

February 16, 2004

Why gay people should NOT be allowed to get married

As I should have made clearer, when I first posted this list on my journal on 16th February 2004, I’m not the author of this list: it was invented by GatorGSA as a Valentine’s Day project. I just picked it up on the Internet. I think it’s brilliant.

That’s the Gator Gay Straight Alliance of the University of Florida.

12 reasons why gay people should not be allowed to get married

1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control. (You just imagined the penguins. Anyway, penguins are unnatural: they’re birds, they fly underwater. Nuff said.)

2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people can’t legally get married because the world needs more children.

3. Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if Gay marriage is allowed, since Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.

5. Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are property, blacks can’t marry whites, and divorce is illegal.

6. Gay marriage should be decided by people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of the minorities.

7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire counrty. That’s why we have only one religion in America.

8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

10. Children can never suceed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why single parents are forbidden to raise children.

11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven’t adapted to things like cars or longer lifespans.

12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a “seperate but equal” institution is always constitutional. Seperate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as seperate marriages for gays and lesbians will.

An eyewitness account of last weekend’s historic weddings in San Francisco, and some great photographs.

Another account of a marriage, and of how anti-marriage bigots were dumbfounded by the singing of the Star-Spangled Banner. “Then conquer we must, for our cause it is just”…

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113 Comments »

  1. […] As I noted yesterday in The Awful Self-Pity of a Self-Righteous Bigot, the only difference between the pile of reasons why same-sex couples shouldn’t be allowed to marry and a hill of beans is that the beans make a nutritious and tasty […]

    Pingback by Tuesday Recipe Blogging: A hill of beans « Jesurgislac’s Journal — October 28, 2008 @ 11:44 am | Reply

    • What dip shit wrote this?

      Comment by Ellen — October 10, 2009 @ 5:43 pm | Reply

      • thank you ellen. thankyou for standing up for the gay & lesbian community. this guy is obviousy a homophob who decided that since he can’t get any he’ll take out his frustration on us. BTW guy… if being bisexual is wrong… i don’t wanna be right!!!!

        Comment by danni — March 26, 2012 @ 11:01 pm

      • oopsie!!! i ment to say brandon…. my b

        Comment by danni — March 26, 2012 @ 11:07 pm

    • I am not gay but i think it is totally fine if someone is thats just who they are and there life other people shouldn’t be allowed to inter fear with others lives or make decisions for them and now i shall address each comment

      1. WTF penguins are awesome not unnatural and if someone loves someone gay or straight they still love each other and no matter what your do there will always be gays so just let it happen and don’t judge and birth control if someone is taking birth control it’s better than doing an abortion
      2.Ok so some people have sex they make a baby gays adopt the baby not that hard and a lot of times gays are nicer than straights
      3. My next-door neighbors are straight and their son is gay and my friend is straight while his parents are gay
      4. there would be no difference in the world gay and straight marriage will still have the same exact meaning no matter what
      5. I thought that blacks can marry whites or are we now in the south during the 1800′s women are not property they are human beings and what does divorce have to do with this subject
      6.”Gay marriage should be decided by people” then how come gay people still aren’t allowed to get married
      7.Gay marriage does not have anything to do with religion and last time i checked there were a lot more than just one religion in america
      8. people being gay will always happen and i am pretty sure being tall is genetic
      9. Gays will go crazy???? How please elaborate. And if i wanna marry my dog who cares its my life!!!!!!!!
      10. So thats just why my friend is so successful doing ads on tv while his parents are gay and single parents actually kick ass when raising children with all of the handwork they do
      11. Obviously we have changed because we have adapted to a society where there are gays and straights now and forever
      12. again are we in like the 1800′s or what ????

      If you agree with this guy theres a special place in H**L for you so F**K you, you racist B******S

      Comment by Brandon Gelfand — March 4, 2012 @ 7:06 am | Reply

      • I ment to put it on the one under this my bad

        Comment by Brandon Gelfand — March 4, 2012 @ 7:07 am

  2. Yeah, if we let same-sex marriage then we might as well let anyone get married, maybe your daughter at 7 years old. Or your son marrying a GOAT…..

    I mean its THEIR choice isnt it????

    ITS ONLY MADE FOR A MAN AND A WOMAN.

    Comment by Valeriy — November 17, 2008 @ 7:36 am | Reply

    • You’re a f**king dumbass. Hopefully someone would have sense enough not to marry an animal.And at least when you’re marrying another man it’s a human!

      Comment by I Like Pie — July 24, 2010 @ 9:31 am | Reply

      • Lbh’er gur s*** qhzonff. Lbh zhfg or va snibe bs cbyltnzl naq zneevntr bs vafrfg nyfb(snguref zneelvat qnhtugref be fbaf rgp.)Gurl ner uhznaf.

        ROT13 from retards.org

        Comment by Adam — May 25, 2011 @ 5:56 pm

    • Your a fucking disgust to the human race. I’m not gay but you’re terrible.

      Comment by dhsjkahjk — January 17, 2012 @ 8:52 pm | Reply

  3. I think you are being immature. Why are you being so sarcastic it makes you sound illiterate.

    1. I think that people are not born gay. I think it is one of two things maybe both is the cause. 1. chemical imbalance. 2. Childhood trauma or adolescent trauma, or even being raped or molested at any age. I know plenty of gay people and all of them have had trauma. Some do not even remember but then finally found out later in life. I do not think that confused people should be married gay or straight for that matter. society had become a joke and its because religion has been obsolete in schools. morals in general or gone. they keep getting striped away. People there has to be a line somewhere in the sand. the bible states. A man shall not lie with another man as he would a woman. it means he does not approve of being gay. also yeah if you are not religious gays cannot reproduce. its unnatural and is not meant to be. the species will not survive. if you look at a pedophile’s childhood they too had some sort of trauma. and then they just pass the trauma on. it is a vicious circle. the line has to be drawn. to prevent the repeated trauma. traditional marriage has enough problems as it is do we need this much more. I am not saying gays are pedophiles or they hurt children intentionally. but they have tremendous effects of young people’s views on life if they are raised by gay’s. people who have faulty views on life should not be able to adopt. if you want a child you know what you have to do (naturally) look at the abortion rate, crime, poverty, all because morals have gone out the window because of decades of faulty viewed people raising children. this country is doomed there is no turning back now.

    Comment by Stephen A. — November 27, 2008 @ 8:52 am | Reply

    • I have a gay sister i am not gay but if you want to turn this into a religios thing well look at what OUR country has done to us. they are trying to take ALL of our rights from us and just because gays raise a child does not mean that they will be gay from my point of view it will make them a more open mined adult. have you looked at the diviorce rate in america? we as american people have let our country go down hill! we are suppose to be a free country, nothing is free anymore. As far as the 12 resons why they shouldn’t be allowed to get married that a crock of shit. If we, the american people, allow them to marry yes they can not reporduce but they could adopt! they would help get the kids out of foster home and into a home where they will be loved and cared for. Who cares if they are allowed to marry, at the end of the day is it really hurting you? we are over populated as it is.

      Comment by amanda — May 2, 2011 @ 7:22 pm | Reply

      • once more unto the breech…

        Amanda, what was posted was originally created by a Gay/Straight Alliance, and it’s SATIRE. it takes all the “arguments” that those who don’t want gay marriage USE, and shows how they’re BS.

        PAY ATTENTION. go back and read the WHOLE original post – it’s VERY obvious that it’s satire and the OP is FOR gay marriage being legalized.

        now, the specific person you responded to? HE isn’t for gay marriage, in fact, he’s apparantly completely UN-American and wants a theocracy. note how he quotes the part of the Bible that backs up his claim, and IGNORES the parts of the Bible that contradict his claim – note also how he mentions ONE of over 600 laws in Liviticus, ignoring all the OTHER laws that he, himself, doesn’t keep – and of those laws, many were of the same “weight” as the supposed anti-gay laws [“supposed” because it’s a 4000 year old document that’s been translated multiple times and we KNOW it’s be MIS-translated VERY often – so until one can read it in the orginal Hebrew and Aramaic, i’d take it with a grain of salt. or a whole shaker therof]. like men not cutting facial hair, and people not eating shrimp – the same word translated as “abomonation” was used for all 3 laws. but i bet you this guy shaves and eats shrimp.

        Comment by denelian — May 3, 2011 @ 3:04 am

    • Yes, because I would choose to be bullied for four years of my life, and for random strangers to come up to me and have a go at me.
      Chemical Imbalance? or maybe just a different set of chemicals, oh no wait, if something is different to your tiny world it must be wrong, sorry. No trauma in my life; there’s trauma in plenty of straight people’s lives, oh my, maybe half the population of the world is actually gay! Confused? Where did you drag confused from, is this an insult to the intelligence of all gays saying we cannot comprehend our sexuality? Or are YOU confused, you can’t comprehend why anybody would want to be different to your perfect sexuality. So, because both religion and science are taught, the younger generation are now immoral? How about, because we do not have religion forced down our throats and we are allowed to make our own choices, we’re not limited to one point of view.
      You may think that homosexuality is sin in the eyes of Christianity. But as there is SO much evidence supporting the fact that homosexuality is genetic, and I can’t choose who I find attractive, it’s NOT a choice. A sin is a choice, this in clear when the Devil is tempting Job, God makes sure he is not tempted past his limit! Also, Jesus threw out Leviticus in his time, and I believe that is where your quote is taken from. Furthermore, it is the same as prawns. There were laws for the Israelites, they couldn’t eat prawns because they didn’t have the equipment to cook them properly and not get ill from food poisoning. If gay sex is not performed with caution, it can transfer diseases, and so that is why it is said in the BIble.
      What is the obsession with the species surviving? I do not speak for everyone, but I personally do not see the important of creating a load of people who would be born into a world of hatred, war, stratification etc. and letting them burn down the environment. And as it stands, the world is incredibly over populated. It is not natural? Unless you’re religious, or don’t believe in evolution, you would think our bodies are not designed, they are just a product of evolution; therefore nothing is natural. If you are religious, then since there is an outstanding amount of evidence to prove that homosexuality is not a choice, but genetic, then since God made each one of us himself, I am obviously not flawed by an innate characteristic.
      Umm, excuse me? Why are you comparing me to a paedophile…
      THERE IS NO TRAUMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
      Faulty views on life? Oh, I wish to fall in love with a man, and be happy with him, raise a child and do everything I can to support them, Jesus, they are some INCREDIBLY flawed views.
      Yes, morals have gone out the window. Every gay is a promiscuous male, blatantly. The country is doomed because guys fall in love with guys and girls fall in love with girls.
      And P.S.
      Homosexuality is found in over 450 species. Homophobia is found in one. What’s ‘natural’ now? xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

      Comment by Max Linford — June 20, 2011 @ 8:14 pm | Reply

      • First, we were created in Godd image. Second, God gave you free will to make your own choices and act on your own feelings. third, it is a feeling that you get that makes you like the same sex, therefore, it is not any different than a rapest who feels he has to rape women to be sexually fulfilled. Also the molester who gets off on touching little kids. It’s all acted out on feelings that you have. I have feelings that I feel strongly about, but it doesn’t make them right or ok. Also with the bible it talks about traditions and ideas that are created by man and laws set by man. You cannot take what man created and use it to conflict what God has said! We are all created for a purpose in life. Unfortunately being gay isn’t one of those purposes. I see a lot of desperation to twist and contort the bible. You cannot compare specific law of man in the bible with specific law of God in the bible. It specifically says in the bible that God looks down on homosexuality not eating shrimp!

        Comment by Jeffrey — June 27, 2011 @ 6:24 pm

    • you’re a idiot Stephen – d yr slf fvr nd dn’t vr spk yr mnd gn f y knw wht s gd fr y. Hp y gt wht y dsrv!

      [Disemvowelled for threats.]

      Comment by joe — June 30, 2011 @ 10:18 pm | Reply

  4. So I want to marry my mother can i do that. what about my sister or brother or dad! Where do we draw the line tell me? I am about freedom don’t get me wrong but there has to be rules in life or you have anarchy/ total chaos. I do not wish to offend people. but these are my opinions and opinions they are and everyone is entitled to have there own. I was just sharing mine. if you like it cool. if not Thats ok also.

    Comment by Stephen A. — November 27, 2008 @ 8:57 am | Reply

    • Getting married to a member of the same sex isn’t the same as marrying your family members. People are people, black or white, right? So what’s the difference between male or female. The writer of that artical was blind in the most fantastic way. Maybe we should just take gay people as slaves now? Because they aren’t ‘human’ because ‘humans’ deserve to marry who they want. Just like the blacks. They weren’t considered people. Now we have a black president. As foolish as he’s acting, he is still considered a person. So what now? Are we going to have to wait for gay people to act up and speak there minds for them to finaly be seen equal in the eyes of fellow citizens? Love doesn’t have a gender.

      Comment by Rachel<3 — September 30, 2010 @ 8:06 pm | Reply

      • the writer of that article was indulging in the literary form known as “satire”. the POINT was to show that “anti-gay” is a BS position.

        the writer has, i’m sure, become VERY tired of pointing this is [hence me doing so]. on the OTHER hand, the COMMENT you’re replying to? *IS* as bigoted as you think the writer is.
        and everything ELSE you said is 1,000,000% TRUE.

        if we keep saying it, eventually it’ll get through to everyone. over HALF the country believe same-sex marriage should be legal [it’s just that most don’t CARE enough to do anything about it]

        Comment by denelian — October 1, 2010 @ 7:28 am

  5. this list is stupid all of this stuff iz untrue who karez if gay people get married like it dznt mean anythng GOD nd like yu ar born gaay most of th time if yu lke gyz nd yur a gy or yu lke grlz nd yur a grl who karez nd yu dnt need to adapt to anythng whoevr wrte ths iz a lonely dirt bag who haz no life nd wntz to pik on gay ppl who hav love nd get strate ppl agrivated so they loze threz like all th gay ppl in the world

    GAY IZ OKAY

    Comment by Kelsey — January 13, 2009 @ 9:00 pm | Reply

    • i totally argree if yooou are gay you should be allowed to get married my cosin he is gay and he did get married he is very happy with his life.

      Comment by rebekah — December 10, 2010 @ 8:28 pm | Reply

  6. some of your reasons are really stupid. like wow. and you probably copied some of these reasons from another sites. i’d know i’ve been to 3 already…all the same.

    Comment by Random — January 14, 2009 @ 9:30 pm | Reply

  7. Gay people can be really nice like super nice. i’d like to see you reply to these comments.. i have big doubts you will because you have no comebacks to these. are you kidding me. where did you even get these? you would suck so bad in a debate. NEVER get into politics. i’d boo you.

    Comment by Georgy — January 14, 2009 @ 9:36 pm | Reply

  8. Jerika – as apparently Random and Georgy are both Jerika – the key reason I haven’t replied to your comments, or Kelsey’s comment, is because neither of you seem to have noticed that the “12 reasons” are sarcastic, not serious. Would have thought that the notes at the foot of the page would have given you a clue…

    Comment by jesurgislac — January 15, 2009 @ 12:12 am | Reply

    • Like the last sentence of each reason is really fake: blacks can’t marry whites. A dog can sign a contract. We haven’t adapted to cars. Penguins? Really?

      Comment by Ajm — April 1, 2010 @ 2:42 am | Reply

      • Dude, how do you find having no sense of irony works for you?

        Comment by jesurgislac — April 1, 2010 @ 6:51 am

  9. its their life!!!!!!!!!!

    Comment by maria escobar — January 15, 2009 @ 6:31 pm | Reply

  10. My mother is stright and so is my father. I was never abused and i was never raped, but I’m a lesbian. It is normal the doctor even said there is no sickness or inbalance! you people are stupid

    Comment by Jazmine — January 20, 2009 @ 3:10 pm | Reply

  11. From IP Addres 24.84.56.146:

    lk hly sht, fkng ht gy ss ppls STF g t hll nd brn mthr fkrs. dmm ll hmsxls, r dck wll fll ff n t nthr dmssn flld wth ppps tht hv rly shrp tth. Stp bng gy, f yr gy y’ll gt ct n t pcs nd thn pt n t wrds tht sys DTH T GYS brnng wth flms hhhhh. LSRS=GYS,GYS=DD CHCKNS. mthr fk

    Translation: I love Barack Obama and want to marry him.

    Comment by I_kll-hms — January 27, 2009 @ 4:00 am | Reply

  12. I ht gy ppl

    Comment by Chili Bob — February 6, 2009 @ 4:21 pm | Reply

  13. Wow.. This list is utterly ridiculous, and very untrue. I’ve known gay people since I was a child, and I am not gay. Really why is it such a problem, they can’t choose who they love, just like you can’t choose who you love, how would you like it if society said you can’t marry someone. Just because they are gay doesn’t mean their children will be, I know plenty of gay people who have raised children just fine, and they aren’t gay. Studies have also proven that a child raised in a heterosexual home is no different than one raised in a same-sex home. AS for it’s unnatural, what is natural, there really isn’t a definition of natural, at least in society. Everyone is different. The all kinds of crazy really, that is really far fetched, do you really believe people will want to marry their dog, if you do you have a really strange Imagination. I really don’t think it is bad. Just let them get married, will it harm you that much.
    What you should do is focus more on the institute of marriage. Marriage is a joke,what is our divorce rate, nearly 50% of couples get divorced. That is a problem. Not gay couples wanting the same rights as everyone else. I think you really need to look at your priorities.

    Comment by Stephanie — March 2, 2009 @ 1:49 am | Reply

    • OK SERIOUSLY!! LOOK EVERYONE I CAN SUM THIS UP REALLY QUICK! THOUGH I AGREE THAT EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE THERE OWN CHOICE THAT CHOICE WAS GIVEN TO EVERYONE OF YOU ITS CALLED FREE WILL!!! AND IT WAS GIVEN BY GOD NOT MAN!!!! SECOND I DONT CARE IF YOU ARE GAY OR NOT YOU CANT SAY YOU DONT BELIEVE IN GOD AND WANT TO GET MARRIED AT LEAST NOT A MEANINGFUL MARRIAGE. THIRD GOD CREATED MAN AND WOMAN WITH THE PRIMARY GOAL OF PRO-CREATION REMEMBER PEOPLE YOU WOULD NOT BE HERE IF YOUR MOMMA AND DADDA WERE GAY, WITH THAT SAID BEING GAY IN MOST CASES IS A MENTAL ISSUE AND ITS BEING PROVED MORE AND MORE EVERYDAY. FOURTH WHY IS ANYBODY ARGUING ABOUT THIS!!??? ITS THERE CHOICE GIVEN BY GOD! SO LET THEM SIN AND NOT REPENT AND CONTINUE TO TRY TO FIT A PUZZLE PIECE INTO A PART OF THE PUZZLE WHERE IT DOESNT WORK OR FIT AND LET GOD SEND THEM TO HELL IN THE END!!! DOESNT THAT MAKE IT SO MUCH BETTER FOR BOTH SIDES? REALLY ITS A WIN WIN FOR US ALL THE GAYS GET WHAT THEY WANT AND IN THE END GOD GETS WHAT HE WANTS 🙂

      Comment by Jeff — July 26, 2010 @ 3:49 am | Reply

      • Jeff? On your keyboard, the key marked CAPS LOCK? Press it.

        Comment by jesurgislac — July 26, 2010 @ 6:59 am

    • MARRIAGE IS NOT A JOKE FOR THOSE WHO TAKE IT SERIOUSLY AND STICK WITH IT. AND YOU ARE RIGHT THE DIVORCE RATE IS HIGH FOR STRAIGHT MARRIAGES, BUT THERE ARE MORE OF US THAN THE GAY ONES. SECOND WHY IS THE SUICIDE RATE SO HIGH FOR GAYS??? ANSWER ME THAT AND YOU HAVE TOLD YOURSELF WHY ITS WRONG!

      Comment by Jeff — July 26, 2010 @ 3:54 am | Reply

      • perhaps because assholes like you spend their time ensuring that gays are mistreated everywhere? they’re persecuted, mocked, attacked…

        READ your holy book, ok? points: 1) one can believe in God without being Christian or Jewish, and other religions *DO* accept same-sex marriage as valid 2) your OWN HOLY BOOK says a LOT of things – specifically, the things JESUS said. like “DON’T JUDGE” and “LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOU LOVE YOURSELF” and “TURN THE OTHER CHEEK”. Jesus HEALED a gay man. Jesus said and did a LOT of things, and what it boiled down to is “Unless you are God, you have NO RIGHT to judge another UNLESS they are doing ACTUAL PROVABLE HARM. PERIOD. that woman cheated on her husband? NOT YOUR BUSINESS. that man and that other man got married? NOT YOUR BUSINESS”
        Jesus preached LOVE TOLERANCE and MERCY.

        show any of it. show ALL of it. or quit preaching – Jesus hates hypocracy a HELL of a lot more than he hates sex. READ THE GOSPELS. [ignore the rest, especially Paul – Paul never met Jesus and most of what he wrote was for political purposes. he was also a well-know misogynist, and he HATED Rome with an unholy passion, which is the ONLY reason he preached against Male/Male homosexuality – it being a standard practice in MOST of the Western world at that point, because Rome didn’t think it bad or illegal. on the other hand, Paul didn’t seem to care about Female/Female homosexuality… makes ya wonder, no?].

        here’s ANOTHER point. Usuary – charging or PAYING interest on a loan [99% of USians are guilty of this, probably ALL of them at some point] is mentioned HUNDREDS of times in the Bible as a HUGE *NO!* Jesus allowed [or perhaps, caused] bankers to die for practicing “usury”. homosexuality is mentioned SIX TIMES. most in the OT. NEVER by Jesus [except by implication when he healed the partner of a Centurion]. which do you think JESUS actually cared about?

        Comment by denelian — October 1, 2010 @ 7:44 am

  14. WOW! thats a bunch of bullshit. Did you even read haif of your responces. you sound like a little 9 year old thats been in grown folks business to long. i really dont understand why the world is so forcus on gay people so much. you should focus on your life your kids and family. if you teach your kids right then you want have a kid whose going to be gay if you think thats how it happens. ” oh i think in going to grow up and be gay, it sounds fun” NO thtas not how it happen its everythinh but fun. WHAT IF YOU HAD TO DEAL WITH NOSIY PEOLPE WHO DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT YOU TELLING YOU WHATS RIGHT/WRONG. WHEN THEY DONT EVEN KNOW WHATS GOING OR THEY DONT HAVE A HANDLE ON THEY LIFE. PLEASE ALL YOU PEOPLE FIGHTING FOR NO GAY MARRIED NEED TO GRT A FUCKING HOBBIE. I HEAR TENNIS IS A FUN SPORT.

    Comment by rainbow — March 10, 2009 @ 3:04 am | Reply

  15. incase you haven’t noticed, this list is sarcastic and clearly isnt homophobic…
    it is the exact opposite

    just letting you guys know, who reply to it with things like this:
    “WHAT IF YOU HAD TO DEAL WITH NOSIY PEOLPE WHO DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT YOU TELLING YOU WHATS RIGHT/WRONG. WHEN THEY DONT EVEN KNOW WHATS GOING OR THEY DONT HAVE A HANDLE ON THEY LIFE. PLEASE ALL YOU PEOPLE FIGHTING FOR NO GAY MARRIED NEED TO GRT A FUCKING HOBBIE. I HEAR TENNIS IS A FUN SPORT”

    thr last line kills me..cos its not funny
    im sorry.

    Comment by Kathryn — March 31, 2009 @ 7:52 am | Reply

  16. Kathryn, thanks for your comment. I find these people a tad bewildering – nice folks, but, hello, folks, meet sarcasm!

    Ah well. Take care.

    Comment by jesurgislac — April 1, 2009 @ 8:09 am | Reply

  17. this is the absolute dumbest thing i have ever read. straight people can obvioulsy make gay babies you [redacted]. and its not gays ruining marriage, its people that get a divore and marry 700 times. your suppose to marry someone because you love them unconditionally. this sit shouldn’t even be allowed. its not even facts . [redacted] . and single paretns can raise children where have you been? and the US has more than one religion. so you obvioulsy have no idea what your talking about. maybe someone with a little brains should post something about gay marriages. im 100 percent striaght yet i still have no problem ith gay marriages as of all of you shouldn’t. its not our buisness, try worrying about yourself for once not everyone else.

    Comment by macie — April 16, 2009 @ 5:39 pm | Reply

  18. macie, i do believe YOUR post was the ‘absolute dumbest’ thing i’ve ever read.

    Why don’t we back that little tongue of yours up a fraction, and have a go at re reading the original journal.. hmm?

    2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children.

    -Infertile couples and old people can’t legally get married because the world needs more children.-

    due to the fact that i presume you’re a little slow, the text separated by these guys – text- IS THE PART OF THE JOKE AS TO WHY’12 REASONS GAY PEOPLE SHOULD NOT GET MARRIED

    obviously infertile couples are able to get married, along with old people.
    I think you’ll find that the sarcasm comes at the end of the ‘reason’.

    “4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if Gay marriage is allowed, since Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful. ”

    there we go again, obviously he isn’t paying out gay people.. he is paying out britney spears and people alike who take marriage so seriously, that the engagement, wedding and honeymoon is over in 55hrs.

    so re read the blog.. and then express your opinion.

    I am embarrassed by the idiocy in here.

    Comment by kathryn — April 17, 2009 @ 11:33 pm | Reply

  19. This is so completely and utterly ridiculous!! esp the one about straight people raising only straight children, as i have friends who have straight parents and are gay.
    WE LIVE IN THE 21st CENTURY!

    i can not believe the load of crap that some people come up with

    f*** you a holes

    Comment by Your ass — July 29, 2009 @ 12:53 am | Reply

  20. Guys – calm down! It’s supposed to be funny. This list makes fun of and exaggerates some weird/stupid arguments about gay marriage. Take a chill pill, and just enjoy the humor. I’m gay, and I was lmao-ing all over the place when I read this. Very clever. Two thumbs up. 😀

    Comment by Cass — October 23, 2009 @ 7:33 pm | Reply

  21. So glasses are not natural, does that mean that people who wear glasses should not be allowed to marry?

    Comment by Melanie — November 30, 2009 @ 3:16 am | Reply

  22. I think it’s funny

    Comment by Melanie — November 30, 2009 @ 3:20 am | Reply

  23. I think these reasons are horrible! This is ridiculous. I’m not gay but I don’t understand what’s wrong with it. If it makes them happy why shouldn’t they be married? Also, gay people are normal people. They were born gay. They cannot help it. Whoever wrote this is entitled to their opinion but he or she must be a major pessimest.

    Comment by Rebecca — January 7, 2010 @ 2:40 am | Reply

  24. you don’t have a clue about hwat the hell you’re tlaking about do you?

    Comment by Abigail — February 1, 2010 @ 2:10 am | Reply

  25. WTF! What you can be fuckin happy one others cant that is bullshit. Children want to b loved i dont hink it really fuckin matters what everyone else thinks. An women are not property i would be so mad if sumone treated my gf like property. And if a black guy wants to marry my sister more power to him as long as he treats her like gold i dont really care. There people to!!!! They have feelings to you like when people treat you bad! I dont think so. What were u picked on alot in high school? its lfe it happen s and EVERYONE DEserves to be HAPPY! no mater if it is loving th same sex or if you love a diffrent color! ANd both my rents are straight and Im gay!

    Comment by Amaanda — February 19, 2010 @ 3:47 am | Reply

  26. I confess, I keep this thread live to remind myself that Americans so often have no concept of irony or satire.

    Comment by Jesurgislac — February 19, 2010 @ 11:49 am | Reply

  27. omg that is sooo stupid..who the fuck came up wit all of this. I mean just because gay people have children doesnt mean their children are gay (and I have seen many examples of that). Many of those children have actually grown up heterosexual and become doctors. Gays are born that way and shouldnt be descriminated against. People that are gay are sometimes very religious and whether they admit they are gay or not they are still gay. and wtf is that about people who are infertle or old are forbidden to have kids, and single parents are forbidden to raise kids? My next door neighbor is infertle so they adopted and they are such great parents. I cant imagine any one being a better parent, except for my mom. Who, by the way, was a single parent and is such a great role model for me and my brother. Who ever wrote this doesnt know what the fuck they are talking about and needs to get a life.

    Comment by Aly — March 8, 2010 @ 10:18 pm | Reply

  28. I don’t care if whoever wrote this is being sarcastic it’s not funny sounds more like hate and descrimination!!! If you love somone strongly you should be able to marry them regardless of sex or race. I think people so prejadice even jelous that a man and a man or a woman and a woman can love each other more than they can love theirself. And with the race comment wow seriously, we are all human the sons and daughters of god just diffrent he put us on the earth as his children he did not want there just to be white people he did’nt just want humans so he put colored people and animals! We are all decedents from africans dummys!!! And why is it that just black people can’t marry outside of their race their are others?!? Anyways this is my opinion and I will stick to it regardless!!!

    Comment by Tammy! — April 14, 2010 @ 4:48 am | Reply

  29. I’m sort of in awe of all the nasty responses you’ve gotten to this post. I’ve noticed that most of the people getting angry about it seem to have not yet mastered basic spelling so maybe sarcasm is way over their heads. Seriously people. It’s a joke! Trust me!

    Comment by Jen — May 6, 2010 @ 7:59 pm | Reply

    • At this point – some of these nasty comments are years old! – I find it quite sweet. Even morons who haven’t learned to spell support gay marriage now!

      Comment by jesurgislac — May 6, 2010 @ 8:07 pm | Reply

  30. this is all bull shit….the facts aren’t even true….

    Comment by yomoma — May 12, 2010 @ 12:34 am | Reply

  31. you people are full of crap!!
    how is it even human-like to compare the love of two people to a cat?! aperantly there’s more people who support homosexuals so you can pretty much take this stupid shit off! maybe the person who wrote this is gay and is trying to cover it up:O

    Comment by Priscilla — May 24, 2010 @ 4:39 am | Reply

    • They could have been gay or straight: the original list was compiled by GatorGSA of the University of Florida for Valentine’s Day 2004. The Gator Gay-Straight Alliance sprang into being in the fall of 2000. The Alliance’s purpose is to end homophobia (and indeed all forms of discrimination). The Alliance is ‘outward-directed’; that is, the efforts are not for the members but for the community in which we all live.

      I am absolutely charmed that six years later even people who can’t spell or recognise satire now support equal rights for GLBT people and gay marriage.

      Comment by jesurgislac — May 24, 2010 @ 7:12 am | Reply

  32. LOL I am absolutely amazed that people don’t understand this list is sarcastic. Actually I am concerned for their safety.

    Great list. Very funny. Awesome blog etc. Sorry you have to deal with such morons.

    Still at least they support gay marriage even if they’re imbeciles incapable of understanding satire.

    Comment by Boganette — May 25, 2010 @ 7:31 am | Reply

  33. hahahaha omg first I read this and I thought you were serious!!! gosh was I pissed!!! now I get it, I’m just one of those morons! lol great list!

    Comment by Anna — June 15, 2010 @ 4:22 am | Reply

  34. oh… wow

    i was directed here from the blog “Forever in Hell”; the current post boasts the *BEST* graphic ever about “what Gay Marriage will do to Our Country” and it’s hilarious.

    so is this.

    i’ve seen the list before [the local Gay/Straight alliance office, in fact, when i took one of the kids i mentor to a meeting – being 15 and a lesbian in the closet *HAS* to suck, and since i’m straight, i can’t really “get” it, so i took her to people who do] but it’s always funny when i run into it again 😀 ESPECIALLY because I? i am one of those women who CAN’T have kids. lol. and it was legal for me to get married. and it’s even legal for me to marry my black fiancee 😀

    Comment by denelian — June 27, 2010 @ 12:16 am | Reply

    • Thanks for commenting! 🙂 and congratulations, happy times!

      Comment by jesurgislac — June 27, 2010 @ 8:05 am | Reply

  35. As I can see you’re not so bright.Because #1:Just because a child’s parents are gay doesn’t mean that they will raise their child to be gay.Nine times out of ten they will raise thier child to go with their gutt and just be themselves because of what they’ve went through.I am twelve years old and I can tell that your an ignorant dumbass!I call my elders out when they say eww when they happen to see two males kissing or two people who aren’t strait.Because you can’t control who someone loves.That’s how they feel.What if they never let African Americans be free.We wouldn’t have half of the entertainment business that we have today.Or half of the NBA!It’s truley rediculous how obsurd some people act.People who want to be strait will be strait.People who want to be gay will be gay.Everyone will choose their paths.There is no right or wrong way…..Damn retards.

    Comment by I Like Pie — July 24, 2010 @ 9:19 am | Reply

    • as i can see, you’re not old enough to understand the point of this post…

      PAY ATTENTION. it’s called “satire” and the *entire point* of the post is to A) MAKE FUN OF people who are anti-gay people and B)SHOW HOW STUPID people like that are.

      but you just attacked the person [the person who has ALREADY STATED that he got this material from “Gator Gay&Straight Alliance”. as in, *GAY PEOPLE HELPED WRITE AND APPROVED THIS SATIRICAL LIST*

      and the only reason *I* am not ignoring you is your stated age – still young enough to learn better. the writer of this journal is *VERY* much PRO, *not* “anti”

      READ MORE CLOSELY. especially since he said BEFORE THE LIST STARTS that he got this list from a GSA. a gay&straight alliance.

      also; “retard”? *NOT* a cool world. if you hell at people for saying “that’s gay” then you should yell at them for [and yourself NOT use] “that’s retarded” and all forms thereof.

      don’t understand why? Google “feminists with disabilities and “retarded””

      Comment by denelian — July 25, 2010 @ 10:31 pm | Reply

  36. ok really people whats so wrong with gay marriage or even gays at all. i am a straight women. so dont get me wrong. but whats really is the big deal about. u love someone then u get married, right but u have to be a man and a women cuz the bible says that so the law goes by religion then. But if you dont believ in wat the buble says or god then what? really law and religion is seperate for a reaason so if u are in love even with the same sex why not allow them to get married. i known a few gay couples just cuz there gay dosnt mean if they have achild there gona rise a gay child. every person chooses what they want and who to fall in love with. and most gays are just like anyone else. really whats the difference between someone whos gay and someone whos straght. exactly nothing besides there personal life. the law states we have freedom, of speach, and do what we want without hurting anyone so how is being gay hurting anyone? if u can answer this let me no. the only thing i can think of this hurting anything or anyone is society it self which stupied. because soceity states children are better off living with a father and a mother. i know many kids are just find with a well rounded good role models that let choose whats right for them wen they grow up and not judge other people beacuse of others background sex color or even there sex life. i have known great gay parents and know good streaight parents as will. so in my opion people in society are always gona be scared of the un known, the knew, adn whats differnt, beacause thats not how is, its always been this know changes. but years go women were at home and no rights know we are treted like men why beacse we are the same and fought for it. So whats the diferent between gays and straights? knowing besides who they sleep with at night. If gay marriges we really not sopose to happen do some states aloow it and others dont? so really people gays are just the same as straights they just live diferent personal like then most people. so get over yourself and let people do what they want we do still have freedom right what will it hurt no one besides the gays u wront allow to marry cux the bible says or state counts why should the state or law tell us who we marry as long as its a human not someone we a realated to and or a child.

    Comment by melissa — August 8, 2010 @ 9:36 am | Reply

    • Go you!

      “The public interest is best served by… restoring the right of same-sex couples to marry in California. Doing so is consistent with California’s long history of treating all people and their relationships with equal dignity and respect.” – Gov Arnold Schwarzenegger

      Comment by jesurgislac — August 8, 2010 @ 9:51 am | Reply

  37. Do people really miss the idea of this article? This was a joke. It’s satire. I can’t beleive people really thought this was real. Everything listed was to actually make fun of people who beleive gay people shouldn’t be married.

    Comment by Melvin — December 14, 2010 @ 10:10 pm | Reply

    • I think it’s quite reassuring. Now even idiots who don’t understand satire & irony support same-sex marriage!

      (I’m being ironic. Well, mostly.)

      Comment by jesurgislac — December 15, 2010 @ 1:05 am | Reply

  38. that’s just wrong! homosexuals are just the same as any other person in the world! so your saying they can’t raise children like straight people could just because of who they like!? your messed up..

    Comment by AdriannaT — December 15, 2010 @ 1:15 am | Reply

  39. ok i’m not going to say anything about gays and marriage, other than it’s kind of ridiculous, but all you people supporting gay marriage are just straight up stupid. you realize that no one cares what the heck you have to say about it and no one’s going to take into consideration what you wrote. you sound like some hippy loser trying to get in tune with nature and the world, and you’re pathetic.

    screw you,
    Bobert Mills

    Comment by Bobert — January 4, 2011 @ 9:10 pm | Reply

  40. Okay, maybe most of you just don’t get it, but he is being completely sarcastic. He is pointing out common anti-gay arguments and making them invalid. I don’t know why you are all hating, but wow.

    Comment by Seth Mancey — January 14, 2011 @ 7:11 pm | Reply

  41. So why is it wrong? I dont see any valid reason on this list. The world needs more children? Hello! This Earth is vastly over populated! Look at China! We dont need more children.
    If two people love each other, why shuldn’t they marry? They want to share their lives together, there is no crime in that. Gay people will raise gay children? You couldn’t be more wrong! Straight people raise children, gay people raise children. Who ever these children become is partially due to environmental factors, but is down to that person. You cant help being gay no more than you can help needing glasses.
    There us a massive difference between marrying your same sex partner, and marrying an animal. Gay people are gay, but they are humans, great humans just like any other human. And hello! Look at how many heterosexual marriages fail! Religion contradicts itself. All it preeches is how to love others as equals, and value each other. All you are saying is that they are immoral and wrong for being different! If we were all the same, it would be an awful world we live in. We are apparently “made in God’s image”, then that is what God is…Unique, special, divine and different for everyone!
    People being gay doesn’t stop any heterosexual person from being straight. Same as heterosexual people can’t stop any homosexual from being gay. You are who you are, and you have basically devalued many inteligent people who know who they are and value themselevs, as they should. And another thing, children need a loving, stable home with support and guidance into life. Gay couples can do this to! They can give love, and show love, and guide and discipline when necessary. My mother is a single parent and has done a marvelous job. You dont need two parents of opposite sex to raise a child right, you need love.
    Overall, who ever wrote this is shallow and stupid. Some of these comments were made by someone who clearly needs an education. We are all equal, and all apart of the world, that INCLUDES homosexual people.

    Comment by Louise — February 25, 2011 @ 12:57 pm | Reply

    • Hi

      YET AGAIN – this list is SATIRE. the POINT of the list is to PROVE that the “Reasons” the anti-gay crowd throw out are total BS.
      this was WRITTEN by a group of GAY PEOPLE, posted by the OP – and he SAID THAT BEFORE THE LIST.

      learn. to. read. read the comments, made by myself and others, explaining OVER AND OVER AND OVER again, to people with the reading comprehension of your average tea-bagger, what’s REALLY going on.

      then go hate the correct people, if hate you must. better yet, don’t hate at all, and DO SOMETHING to help the LGBTQI people, and let your voice [which is pro-gay] be HEARD.

      Comment by denelian — March 1, 2011 @ 6:43 am | Reply

  42. man – i just STILL cannot believe how people FAIL basic reading comprehension.

    but, as you say, it’s REALLY nice to know that even people who can’t read are all for people being happy!

    Comment by denelian — March 1, 2011 @ 6:44 am | Reply

  43. gays should be allowed to get married they have the same rights as everyone else. Straight parents don’t always raise straight kids thats just bullsh*t

    Comment by Brianna Dyer — April 13, 2011 @ 12:17 pm | Reply

  44. I think there should be an IQ test for both getting married and posting a comment on this blog. That way homosexuals would be allowed to get married and it would prevent morons from being able to post comments on this blog unaware that this was actually sarcastic. I hate dumb people. Nice post jesurgislac!

    Comment by Austin — April 19, 2011 @ 4:09 am | Reply

    • Thanks Austin. I kind of like knowing even dumb people support gay marriage….

      Comment by jesurgislac — May 2, 2011 @ 11:45 pm | Reply

  45. Good on you 🙂 Spread the blog people, ignorance levels need to go down.

    Comment by jackie — May 15, 2011 @ 6:03 am | Reply

  46. Ok first of all, let me point out some things you said that are INCORRECT.
    “Blacks can’t marry whites, and divorce is illegal”
    Actually YES blacks CAN marry whites you stupid piece of shit.
    Divorce is actually NOT illegal, its very legal.
    “Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven’t adapted to things like cars or longer lifespans”
    We have very much adapted to cars, being that a new model is made EVERY year!
    Also we live longer than people back in the 1800s.
    “People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract”
    Actually NO dogs CAN NOT sign marriage contracts, they dont have opposable thumbs moron!
    Get your facts straight before you post stuff on the internet, you ignorant c–t.
    Thank you.

    Comment by Some angry chick — May 17, 2011 @ 5:36 pm | Reply

    • sat·ire /ˈsætaɪər/ –noun

      1. the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.

      2. a literary composition, in verse or prose, in which human folly and vice are held up to scorn, derision, or ridicule.

      3. a literary genre comprising such compositions.

      Not for nothing, but it’s a little irritating to be called an “ignorant c–t” by some uneducated ignoramus who evidently thinks The Onion is a serious newspaper.

      …though mind you, during the Bush years, if you wanted to know what US policy was going to be in a year’s time, you just had to look at The Onion headlines of last week.

      Comment by jesurgislac — May 18, 2011 @ 9:54 am | Reply

  47. I am gay. I don’t agree with these comments because if parents are gay that doesn’t mean the child would be gay and if the parents are straight that doesn’t determine whether the child would be straight or gay. I myself believe in God. I have grown up in the church, I believe that God excepts me the way I am because he is a merciful God. I love who I love, not because of gender but because of who makes me happy, love has no gender. You say its a sin to be gay but the question is did you lay and have sex with a man when you were not married? That is a sin as well but a Christian knows that judging someone is not a feature of Gods work, because he accept us for who we are. I love kids and kids love being around me I don’t influence them I tell them to follow their hearts because telling a child what he or she can’t do is nearly impossible because they are going to do it anyway. Just like when you were young and your mother told you don’t touch that pot because its hot but you didn’t know until you got burnt. Love is of the essence and the heart God doesn’t make mistakes he choose the person that will keep you happy and motivated. Just because I am gay doesn’t determine what or who I am. There is a lot of parents today who are married with their husbands and are not happy but they only do it because someone tells them what they are doing is an abomination to God. No one knows what is an abomination to God because they are not the master themselves he determines what is pleasing to the eye. In what is pleasing to his eye is accepting him as your lord and savior and not being afraid of who you are.

    Comment by kiavanni — May 19, 2011 @ 8:12 am | Reply

    • YET AGAIN – this list, created by a Gay/Straight Alliance, is SATIRE – you will recognize the arguments as being those used by those opposed to allower same-sex marriage, and then the SATIRE *proves the arguments are INVALID.

      LEARN TO READ. he freaking SAID it’s SATIRE, that these “reasons” are INVALID.

      you are, in effect, attacking a person who is FOR same-sex marriage and who doesn’t agree with people opposed to them. an ALLY.

      because you don’t understand satire. look it up.

      Comment by denelian — May 20, 2011 @ 12:50 am | Reply

  48. Well I guess you hate God because he is the creator of all of his children.

    Comment by kiavanni — May 19, 2011 @ 8:14 am | Reply

  49. Love it. Too bad some people lack the basic reading skills to comprehend satire. I would love to (with your permission, or the permission of whomever it is that wrote this) replicate this list on my blog. On one hand, I am a bit afraid of backlash, but I’m really more interested in seeing how many more say “you go girl!” without understanding the concept that I don’t necessarily promote, but accept it. Prime example being my mother, who cyberstalks everything I write. If I have a membership at a site, she goes and creates one to stalk me. Creepy, right? Anyhow, great list. Email addy perpetuallyashley(at)gmail(dot)com so you can let me know if I can use this. Thanks!

    My blog

    Comment by Ashley — May 29, 2011 @ 9:17 pm | Reply

    • Hi Ashley, I didn’t write it – GatorGSA did. But I certainly don’t have a problem with you replicating it on your blog, and really doubt they would either.

      Comment by Jesurgislac — May 30, 2011 @ 1:40 pm | Reply

  50. Are you kidding me? How is it not natural? I highly doubt that they have to use chemicals or anything other than their own mind and feelings to like their own sex! “gay parents raise gay children and straight parents raise straight children” seriously? Obviously not if straight parents raised a gay child to start it. But nice try. And it’s not crazy behavior to be gay, it’s the same behavior as being straight. The other statemants you have up there are just useless points that don’t help you make your point. Okay, bye douche.

    Comment by Susy — June 26, 2011 @ 5:25 am | Reply

  51. Are you kidding me? How is it not natural? I highly doubt that they have to use chemicals or anything other than their own mind and feelings to like their own sex! “gay parents raise gay children and straight parents raise straight children” seriously? Obviously not if straight parents raised a gay child to start it. But nice try. And it’s not crazy behavior to be gay, it’s the same behavior as being straight. The other statemants you have up there are just useless points that don’t help you make your point. Okay, bye.

    Comment by Susy — June 26, 2011 @ 12:58 pm | Reply

  52. if anything, the world needs less children ¬¬

    Comment by Josh — July 6, 2011 @ 5:07 pm | Reply

  53. I hate it how people say ‘Gay people’ it’s like they’re another race or something. We don’t say ‘Blonde people’, ‘Blue eyed people’ or ‘Curly haired people’ when referring to a group of people.

    People are people and they will argue about anything and everything, as long as they have a voice!

    I loved that comment about how over 450 spieces on this world are homosexual, but only one are homophobic. That is so true, and it has to stop!

    To any crazed relgious fanatics who start blurting out crap verses’ of the bible whenever you hear about homosexuality, why don’t you stop skipping verses’ and start obeying them yourselves.

    Comment by Holly — August 12, 2011 @ 11:57 pm | Reply

  54. The United States prides itself in having the freedom of speech, religion, and finds the idea of racism shocking. You my friend are racist against gays. I get marrying objects is a bit crazy but should it matter if two people are in love. Marriage is supposed to be a meaningful moment when two people are in love and they join as one. There shouldn’t be rules to marriage and its especially not any of your business who I marry.

    Comment by Cristian Martinez — August 31, 2011 @ 12:23 am | Reply

  55. I’m just gonna say this, people that believe in god say that it’s wrong to be a homosexual, but really if god didn’t want homosexuals on earth then he would’t of made them. There is nothing wrong with liking the same sex. I have gay friends and they are just like anyone else, even nicer!
    Some people need to stop hating!

    Comment by Brittany Long — September 3, 2011 @ 3:23 am | Reply

  56. HEY, I FEEL REALLY SORRY FOR ANYONE WHO READS THIS CRAP AND BELIEVES IT.
    LOVE IS FOR EVERYONE.

    Comment by Devon — September 17, 2011 @ 5:36 pm | Reply

    • damn straigghttt.

      Comment by homo-or-go — November 14, 2011 @ 12:10 am | Reply

  57. Wow this is genius! All stupid people don’t get it though. xD That’s what makes it funnier.

    He’s being sarcastic. In other words, he is making fun of people who don’t want gays to marry.

    Comment by Lizza — October 9, 2011 @ 8:19 pm | Reply

  58. whomever the F*** you are and if you actually belive this, you are A COMPLETE IDIOT!!! you can go and screw your tiny smallminded ignorant idiotic dumb**** pissbrained a**hole self and live the rest of you’re miserable pathetic life ALONE for all i care. if you think that since you’re some idiot white guy that that gives you the “right” to tell everyone thats not some part of your in-bred family that their lifestyle is wrong, you’re an idiot. you’re beyond the valley of the stupid and long past the mountains of jerks. anyone that agrees with this a**wipe is just as pathetic as they are. ( ohhh…now see now i’ve read all the comments and see that it is indeedy a satire. but it still makes me angry.) also, if “god” wanted people to be straight, then he’d of put it so that we couldn’t feel anything else. right? apparently “god” is kinda an idiot because he gives us free will but hates us for using it… anyways, i’m proud as all get out to be gay and you mongrels can kiss my happy lezzi a** if you’d like. tata dick faces.

    Comment by jannie linnson — October 25, 2011 @ 11:06 pm | Reply

    • Once I loved this list because the satire made me grin.

      Now I love this list because it proves that even dumb pissbrained asshole ignorant idiots support the freedom of same-sex couples marry. Thank you for once again proving that you don’t have to have brains enough to pour piss out of a boot to see that it’s right for gay people to be able to get married.

      Comment by jesurgislac — October 26, 2011 @ 8:58 am | Reply

  59. 3. Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
    this is the stupidest thing ever if straights raise straight kids. were the hell did gays come from then

    Comment by your Retarded — November 13, 2011 @ 7:34 pm | Reply

    • please, go to google and look up the definition of “satire”. then, once you know what the word “satire” means, please re-read the ENTIRE post – most especially the part where the OP SAYS “this is satire”.

      or, if you’re lazy, i’ll tell you – the OP got this list from a GSA [a gay-straight alliance] and the WHOLE POINT of this list is to MAKE FUN of people who are homophobic. the OP is NOT homophobic and is a supporter of same-sex marriage.

      seriously, what is WRONG with people in this country? the absolute lack of reading comprehension scares me.

      and i don’t know why i’m bothering, no one pays any attention to being told that they’ve misread this post. sigh.

      Comment by denelian — November 19, 2011 @ 11:10 am | Reply

  60. it doesnt matter who you marry , the only thing that matters is that your in love . and its funny cuz a majority of hetero marriges end approximately 10-20 years before a homo marrigae does if a homo marriage ends at all. stop drinking that haterade drink gaderade hun

    Comment by homo-or-go — November 14, 2011 @ 12:09 am | Reply

    • i’m just gonna past what i said to the person who commented right before you

      please, go to google and look up the definition of “satire”. then, once you know what the word “satire” means, please re-read the ENTIRE post – most especially the part where the OP SAYS “this is satire”.

      or, if you’re lazy, i’ll tell you – the OP got this list from a GSA [a gay-straight alliance] and the WHOLE POINT of this list is to MAKE FUN of people who are homophobic. the OP is NOT homophobic and is a supporter of same-sex marriage.

      seriously, what is WRONG with people in this country? the absolute lack of reading comprehension scares me.

      and i don’t know why i’m bothering, no one pays any attention to being told that they’ve misread this post. sigh.

      and just to reiterate – the OP is NOT hating on LGBTQI people, is NOT a homophobe, and for same-sex marriage being legal.

      Comment by denelian — November 19, 2011 @ 11:13 am | Reply

      • I feel your pain. It was hillariously sad reading some of the posts. This is our future generation? God help us.

        Comment by Rosa — November 27, 2011 @ 2:35 am

  61. Whoever wrote this, you’re a FUCKING DUMBASS. First of all, WE DONT NEED MORE PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD. Ever heard of over population? Second, hanging around tall people will make you tall? What kind of TV do you watch? No matter how tall your friends are, IT WON’T MAKE YOU ANY TALLER. And no one is dumb enough to marry their pet. Why the fuck who anyone do that? An animal is not a person. Just because they passed a law for same sex marriage, doesn’t mean you can marry your pet! There’s definitely a big difference between man and animal. Gays are not any different from you or from me. They aren’t going around killing anyone. No one is being harmed by two people who love eachother getting married. Plus, nowhere in the Bill of Rights does it say same gender couples can’t get married. The constitution was made for EVERYONE in our country, not just heterosexuals. Marriage is about two people who love eachother wanting to make it official. That’s what it should be about. Not whether or not you are the same sex. As for religion, I respect their opinion and the way they live, but loving someone is not a sin. Going back to the constitution, religious people don’t have the right to deny someone of their rights. The same rights that they have. That should be sin. Oh, and not to mention I’M 14. WOMAN ARE PROPERTY?! WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? I really hope one day your child is gay, so that you can have sooooo much guilt because you can’t do anything about it. You’ll have to love them, and realize THAT THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH DIFFERENCE IN THIS WORLD. OUR WORLD NEEDS DIFFERENT PEOPLE. And I’m not talking about people who wrote this dumb article.

    Comment by Jenna Magintosh — December 3, 2011 @ 11:47 pm | Reply

  62. Are you kidding me…. you must be part of a cult.

    Comment by no qw — December 29, 2011 @ 8:41 pm | Reply

    • The cult of SATIRE.

      Comment by jesurgislac — January 12, 2012 @ 1:04 pm | Reply

      • i just… wow. yeah, i’d give up, too, with this amount of idiocy and hate. i’m sorry

        Comment by denelian — January 13, 2012 @ 8:04 pm

  63. you are a fucking idiot. you are very obviously racist as well as a homophobe. my mom was a single mother and i know damn well i was raised better than the ignorant son of a bitch that you are! if straight partners raise only straight children then how did gays come to be? they came from a straight mother who had hetero sex with a male you dumb peice of shit. and what exactly makes gay marriage less meaningful than hetero marriage? they love eachother just the same the only difference is they have the same parts you cant help who you love. by the way our world is overpopulated. so it would actually help us some if we just had a few less kids. and i feel really sorry for your significant other if the only reason your marrying her/him is to have kids. karmas a bitch and i do hope you have a wonderfully gay child who forces you to accept the beauty of true love in all forms. your just a little to defensive abouit all this by the way? any chance you might be a little gay yourself.

    Comment by bianca — January 11, 2012 @ 7:49 pm | Reply

    • “any chance you might be a little gay yourself.”

      Extremely gay! Thanks for noticing.

      Comment by jesurgislac — January 12, 2012 @ 1:04 pm | Reply

    • pot, meet kettle. you ARE an idiot. please look up the definition of “satire”. please understand that this is sarcasm and satire, and was – 8 years ago! – originally written by members of a Gay/Straight Alliance, as a way to point out the IDIOCY of homophobic idiots. it was NOT written by Jesurgislac, though zie reposted it with the SAME INTENTION as the original. jesurgislac is, as you pointed out, gay zieself – but isn’t closeted, and works to forward equality. other than attacking people on your side because you’re either too ignorant or too lazy to understand, what do you do?

      Comment by denelian — January 13, 2012 @ 8:09 pm | Reply

  64. you did not think this through my friend.

    Comment by leaz. — January 30, 2012 @ 10:45 pm | Reply

  65. My best friends are raised by.gay parents and they are straight you are just mean

    Comment by bella — February 12, 2012 @ 10:09 pm | Reply

  66. Copy righters you guys are sick

    Comment by Alena — February 17, 2012 @ 8:36 pm | Reply

  67. I love this article. And I wish people were smarter…reading most of these people’s comments just pains me.

    Comment by Ashley — February 22, 2012 @ 8:23 am | Reply

  68. You’re icky

    Comment by Erin — March 20, 2012 @ 9:15 pm | Reply


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